Phew! This school term is finally over, and I could not be more relieved. Don't get me wrong, it was great fun; I met a lot of new and interesting people and gained a lot of practical experience. However, there is one thing that regrettably took a back-burner over the past few months: my marriage. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to balance the different areas of my life, as I become more involved in school and make new friends. This term alone I probably clocked about fifty hours per week on campus, working on projects and attending classes and meetings. When I was home I was usually in decompress mode, meaning that I would immediately veg out by tinkering around online or by watching movies/television (much like I'm doing now).
The truth is, marriage is work. It's fun work, but work all the same. Christopher is a wonderful, supportive husband, and he does a great job of keeping me in check when I start to lose my mind, but I have to be careful not to take him for granted. There are things that I might not want to do, but that I have to do as a symbol of my commitment to making us work (i.e., doing the dishes, even when I'm exhausted; scooping the litterbox from time to time; and/or stepping away from an important email, because Christopher wants to tell me a story from his day). All of these things are, of course, totally worth it in the long run. He and I are committed to each other forever, and, to quote one of my favorite movies, "forever is an awfully long time." Truth is, I love the guy. That's all I really need to remember. I'm happy when he's happy, and vise versa.
So, I fully intend on spending the next week and a half spending time with him. My hope is to do some serious hiking, cooking, and cleaning over the break, while simultaneously helping a good friend find a new "boy toy." Next term will come soon, so my time is limited to get my priorities back in check. Next term I am taking three courses, working as a peer advisor for the psychology department, acting as vice president for the psychology club, and hopefully working as a TA for one of my professors from this term. That being said, the end is in sight (I should graduate in December 2010), and Christopher will be around long after my career as a student has ended. My marriage needs to be priority number one. For those of you who know me, please make sure I remember that fact when my head starts spinning around from all of my other responsibilities. I thank you in advance.
Forever IS an awfully long time, Wendy. :)
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I really love you for posting this because I'm going through the same thing. Granted, you're doing WAY more than I am with school (and have I mentioned how impressed I am with that? I'm SO extremely happy for you - I knew you'd conquer school out there, but not only are you conquering it, you're murdering it!), but I'm having the same difficulty. I work every day and then have four hours of class on Monday night, and then homework on most others. When I'm not working, I'm wanting to watch TV (currently: Freaks and Geeks DVD - heck yes). I, too, need to stop taking Samir for granted and work on my relationship more.
At least we realize this, right?
But, yes, Christopher will be there forever and never make you feel bad for pursuing what you want. He's quite a catch!
You girls are both right - marriage/relationships are work (and hard work sometimes at that!) but the important thing is the fact that you're AWARE of this fact and even better, taking steps to improve matters and work on keeping your relationship healthy and happy. :D
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to get lost in the monotony of the daily routine (work, school, eat, sleep, repeat), and I will admit that oftentimes Kevin and I fall into the same old patterns and have to actively remind one another that "oh hey, person that i love! let me give you some attention!" because it's far too easy to just come home and crash in front of the tv ;) Which truthfully, we do most nights - even though I wish sometimes we didn't - but at least we're generally doing it TOGETHER, I guess, yes? ;)
Take a date night out just the two of you once every couple weeks - go to dinner, see a movie, go hiking, play a board game - there are all kinds of simple things you can do together that help reinforce your relationship and your commitment to one another that don't take up a whole lot of time and energy, thus leaving room for both school and work on other days ;)
I'm glad you're doing so well in school and are so close to reaching your graduation!! Maybe I need to move out to the Pacific Northwest to light the same fire under my bum?? ;)