Okay, okay... I haven't posted anything in a long time. I'm sorry! I've never been one of those people who can keep a steady diary. I haven't had that burning sensation to unleash my feelings in text since I was nineteen. In fact, that is the last time I had a consistent diary. And thankfully for you, my dedicated blog audience, I hung on to that delightful piece of my past. In traditional nineteen-year-old-just-graduated-high-school style, it is all about boys, friends, boyfriends, and "what the heck am I going to do with my life" passages. Here are some of my favorite tidbits (those of you who knew me then might get a kick out of this):
January 13, 2001 - I don't think I've ever had so many guy-friends at one time, and not a decent boyfriend in the lot. I miss having a relationship. I'm afraid that the more time I spend hanging out with boys and not kissing any of them, the less attractive I'm becoming as a girlfriend. Ugh, I hate sounding lonely and desperate.
July 16, 2001 - Things I could do with my life: teacher (any level), movie critic, food critic, musician (singer), business manager, shop owner, party coordinator, caterer, artist, poet, or actress. With a list like this, how am I ever going to decide?!
July 21, 2001 - Once upon a time, there was a girl who desperately wanted to leave the state she was born and raised in to pursue her education and start anew. Unfortunately, her mother strongly disagreed with the idea, calling it "stupid" and "unreasonable." So, the girl's dreams were crushed and she gave up all hope of ever discovering herself in the world. The end.
August 11, 2001 - My birthday is three weeks from today! I'll be 19! Too old! I'm not ready to grow up. The rest of my life scares me. I've decided to change my major to either music or art.
-
In 2006, when I moved back from New York, I found this diary hiding in my old bedroom. It made me laugh to read all of my old dreams and ambitions (or lack thereof), and it was funny to think that I still had all of the same friends and feelings that I did five years prior. In September of 2006, I began writing in the diary again, and as I read those entries now (3+ years later) they remind me that keeping a journal is a wonderful way to store memories. I wish that I could commit to writing in one again. Maybe I will.
-
September 22, 2006 - I have a date on Saturday night! Can you believe it? It's the first time I've liked a guy in four years. Or, rather, the first time I'm going on a real date in four years. I've liked a few guys. But I digress... His name is Christopher, and he's a 29 year old cameraman. He has his own apartment, a job, and a cat. I think I might really like him, which is obvious because I'm breaking my "no dating until I move out of Florida" rule to go out with him. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. My new rule is that I come first. I am not allowed to abandon my life goals again for a guy, no matter what.
September 26, 2006 - I went on my second date with Chris last night, and it was fantastic. I really like him. It's hard not to fall too fast into this one. He's so honest (albeit a little self-loathing), trustworthy, passionate, and intense. Not to mention extremely sexy. I think I am in way over my head here, and I'm enjoying every second of it.
-
I totally need to start a new journal. It's so fun walking down memory lane! Thanks for letting me drag you alongside. Sometimes it is fun to entertain company in Nostalgiaville.
