Friday, June 11, 2010
Holiday
Jiminey Cricket, I need a vacation! These five days of semi-freedom just aren't doing it for me. I am super excited about the coming internship and my class next week, but I feel like I haven't had enough 'me' time in between. Hence why I am writing this stupid blog instead of doing the necessary prep work for my conference call tomorrow morning. Must... stop... stalling! BLARGH!!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Birthday Song
Oh my gosh... I just bought Christopher the coolest birthday present ever! Granted, he asked for a ukulele (he never requests gifts, so I jumped at the chance to fulfill his wish), but he wasn't expecting to get one of the most beautiful, well designed ukuleles on the market! Don't worry, he doesn't read my blog, so my secret is safe with you. Allow me to introduce you to the Oscar Schmidt OU7T Tenor Ukulele:
It comes with the best strings on the market (so say the enthusiasts), is handmade from the wood of a Spalted Mango tree, has ebony buttons, and is bound with abalone. I can't wait to get my hands... uh, Christopher's hands... on this thing!
Chris's birthday is fast approaching - June 27 - and I have been wracking my brain, trying to think of amazing ideas for his party. Ideally, we would have a barbecue in the park, but we are lacking in one essential element: a grill. There goes that plan. Idea number two involves a bunch of good friends, alcoholic beverages, and an open, well-lit setting where we could all hang out for a few hours. I've got a couple of places in mind, but nothing perfect yet. He's turning 33 this year, which means he's (thankfully) over the initial shock of being in his 30s, but still needs to feel energetic and fun. I, being the birthday nut, am more excited about having a party than he is. ;)
All of this talk about birthdays has got me thinking about my own. In a few short months I'll be 28 years old! I love aging. There's something so refreshing about constantly changing, maturing, and learning. I finally got my first wrinkle a few weeks ago, and am super excited despite the fact that my husband and friends keep assuring me it doesn't count. I can't wait to see what I look like as a white haired, shriveled up old lady! It's going to be awesome!
I usually throw myself a birthday party every year, but this year I'm feeling particularly nostalgic and adventurous. I want to go to New York City. I haven't been since I moved back to Florida, and I miss it terribly. I have a love/hate relationship with that place, and I could never have lived there on a long term basis, but there is something about it that makes me feel completely connected with the world and myself. It's hard to describe unless you've been there, and if you haven't yet then you are absolutely invited to come with me in September! I'm making some money from my summer internship, and I have a few friends with whom we can stay. Seriously, I desperately need a vacation full of friends, strangers, food, and shopping. The time is now!
It comes with the best strings on the market (so say the enthusiasts), is handmade from the wood of a Spalted Mango tree, has ebony buttons, and is bound with abalone. I can't wait to get my hands... uh, Christopher's hands... on this thing!
Chris's birthday is fast approaching - June 27 - and I have been wracking my brain, trying to think of amazing ideas for his party. Ideally, we would have a barbecue in the park, but we are lacking in one essential element: a grill. There goes that plan. Idea number two involves a bunch of good friends, alcoholic beverages, and an open, well-lit setting where we could all hang out for a few hours. I've got a couple of places in mind, but nothing perfect yet. He's turning 33 this year, which means he's (thankfully) over the initial shock of being in his 30s, but still needs to feel energetic and fun. I, being the birthday nut, am more excited about having a party than he is. ;)
All of this talk about birthdays has got me thinking about my own. In a few short months I'll be 28 years old! I love aging. There's something so refreshing about constantly changing, maturing, and learning. I finally got my first wrinkle a few weeks ago, and am super excited despite the fact that my husband and friends keep assuring me it doesn't count. I can't wait to see what I look like as a white haired, shriveled up old lady! It's going to be awesome!
I usually throw myself a birthday party every year, but this year I'm feeling particularly nostalgic and adventurous. I want to go to New York City. I haven't been since I moved back to Florida, and I miss it terribly. I have a love/hate relationship with that place, and I could never have lived there on a long term basis, but there is something about it that makes me feel completely connected with the world and myself. It's hard to describe unless you've been there, and if you haven't yet then you are absolutely invited to come with me in September! I'm making some money from my summer internship, and I have a few friends with whom we can stay. Seriously, I desperately need a vacation full of friends, strangers, food, and shopping. The time is now!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Don't Stop Believing
It is a bittersweet pill to take, realizing that you are no longer who you were. In fact, the me of two years ago probably wouldn't recognize who I am now. Not that I'm saying there was anything wrong with who I was then, but I had no idea what I was capable of. I didn't consider myself the academic/college type. I took my retail jobs WAY too seriously, because I genuinely thought I had no other career options. I was still desperately clinging to my single self, afraid to fully embrace my marriage. And I had surrounded myself with people who were exactly like me, to validate the person I thought I was. Something about completely separating myself from my home town and starting over really changed my perceptions regarding life, love, and possibilities. I have come a long way in a short amount of time, and I do love the person (student, wife, woman, and professional) that I have become.
Last week a friend from back home stayed with us, and it was wonderful spending time with her. We laughed, drank, and ate until our stomaches and wallets couldn't take it anymore. But, despite the fun and games, I found myself struggling to relate to her the same way I used to. It was like, she was exactly the girl I remembered, but I wasn't the person she expected me to be. I couldn't, in good conscience, bitch about the man in my life, or complain about the "joys" of working retail. Most importantly, I couldn't pretend to be the ditzy, clumsy, bubbly girl that she remembered. In fact, one night we went out for drinks, and the next morning she said something like, "I'm really surprised you didn't get sicker last night! I was expecting to have to carry you home like usual." Just hearing that made me shudder a little bit. Is that who I was? Sadly, yes, but we were all young and stupid once. Gladly, I feel like I've finally become the mature adult I always wanted to be, but was too afraid to admit.
I feel like, despite these realizations and monumental shifts in priorities, I still have no idea how to bring who I am now to who I knew then. When I go home for the holidays or friends come out here, I incur a huge amount of cognitive dissonance. I literally don't know how to act. I know who my family and friends expect me to be, and I know enough psychological theory to realize that they will perceive me in that way forever no matter how I behave. However, I still want to express who I really am in a way that they will see and understand.
Often times I think about the friends of mine who went off to college right out of high school and actually finished their degrees in a normal timeline. Many of them are working on graduate school now and have fantastic jobs that they are proud of. I wonder if they thought about me the same way I'm thinking about my other friends now. I genuinely ponder whether or not they had trouble relating to me, because I had no idea what they had been through and how capable they were. They must have, at least a little bit, because now I feel like they are some of my favorite people to talk to. I finally get it, and can relate to them on a different level than before.
There is no real point to this blog (is there ever?), except to say that life is tough, and, at times, isolating. It is up to all of us to figure out who we really are, and keep that realization in our hearts and minds, despite how others might perceive us (or how we perceive them perceiving us). I could pull a Carrie Bradshaw and end with a semi-thoughtful question, but I think I've said it all. Love you guys!
Last week a friend from back home stayed with us, and it was wonderful spending time with her. We laughed, drank, and ate until our stomaches and wallets couldn't take it anymore. But, despite the fun and games, I found myself struggling to relate to her the same way I used to. It was like, she was exactly the girl I remembered, but I wasn't the person she expected me to be. I couldn't, in good conscience, bitch about the man in my life, or complain about the "joys" of working retail. Most importantly, I couldn't pretend to be the ditzy, clumsy, bubbly girl that she remembered. In fact, one night we went out for drinks, and the next morning she said something like, "I'm really surprised you didn't get sicker last night! I was expecting to have to carry you home like usual." Just hearing that made me shudder a little bit. Is that who I was? Sadly, yes, but we were all young and stupid once. Gladly, I feel like I've finally become the mature adult I always wanted to be, but was too afraid to admit.
I feel like, despite these realizations and monumental shifts in priorities, I still have no idea how to bring who I am now to who I knew then. When I go home for the holidays or friends come out here, I incur a huge amount of cognitive dissonance. I literally don't know how to act. I know who my family and friends expect me to be, and I know enough psychological theory to realize that they will perceive me in that way forever no matter how I behave. However, I still want to express who I really am in a way that they will see and understand.
Often times I think about the friends of mine who went off to college right out of high school and actually finished their degrees in a normal timeline. Many of them are working on graduate school now and have fantastic jobs that they are proud of. I wonder if they thought about me the same way I'm thinking about my other friends now. I genuinely ponder whether or not they had trouble relating to me, because I had no idea what they had been through and how capable they were. They must have, at least a little bit, because now I feel like they are some of my favorite people to talk to. I finally get it, and can relate to them on a different level than before.
There is no real point to this blog (is there ever?), except to say that life is tough, and, at times, isolating. It is up to all of us to figure out who we really are, and keep that realization in our hearts and minds, despite how others might perceive us (or how we perceive them perceiving us). I could pull a Carrie Bradshaw and end with a semi-thoughtful question, but I think I've said it all. Love you guys!
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