As we transition to adulthood... Well, 'transition' is not exactly the right word. As adulthood is thrust upon us, we begin to make important decisions; decisions to get married, get divorced, buy a house, have a baby, change cable companies, etc. And as we progress through these steps, our friends are navigating through their own timelines and stages. Sometimes their decisions coincidentally line up with ours, sometimes they don't, but undoubtedly if you're close enough to that person(s) what's happening in their life will spill over into yours. This is when making adult decisions becomes muddy and complicated.
Since the new year began, we have attended my younger brother's wedding, congratulated our best friends on their new pregnancy/impending wedding, talked through a divorce with another, and coached one of my dearest friends through a difficult separation. Oh, and we have recently decided to start trying for a baby within a year. So, there's that.
So far, 2012 is proving to be a strange year for love and self-discovery. It has caused me/us to reassess the institution of marriage, and gain further appreciation for the bond we have. It is difficult to be happy for new relationships while watching old ones crumble unexpectedly, but c'est la vie I suppose. At my brother's wedding Chris and I were talking with my uncle Eddie, an amazing man who has been faithfully married to his equally amazing wife for somewhere around 48 years; and his daughter, Kelli, told us a valuable bit of wisdom she had heard from him in years prior. He told her that the key to maintaining a successful marriage was to see the person you're with, and only them, forever and honestly; and not to let the idea or possibility of anyone else ever cross your mind. The 'we' is infinitely more important than the 'me'. This message seems particularly salient now.
It feels strange to make 'forever' decisions, and I don't know that I'll ever get used to it. But I'm learning to embrace the weird of it. Yes, school is important and the bills must get paid, but our love and life come first. New Year's resolution #142: Love without boundaries, and forever be grateful.
