A lot of thought went into whether or not I should post this information to the internet, but sometimes emotions are just too big to keep bottled up inside. I am worried about my little brother and I feel guilty for not being in Florida with my family right now. Sometimes it's enough just to be thinking about the person, right?
For those of you who don't know, my brother (we'll call him Andy because he hates it) has been dealing with some difficult medical issues recently. Last week he underwent surgery to have a medium-sized tumor removed from his stomach. On Monday he'll be meeting with his surgeon to receive a referral to a cancer specialist. We don't yet know whether the tumor is benign or malignant, but we're all keeping our fingers crossed and our hopes high. He's only 25 years old.
It's funny, my whole life I've had the possibility of cancer in the back of my head. I realize that this contradicts my generally cheery disposition, as it sounds incredibly morbid, but it's true. Within my lifetime I've had a handful of relatives suffer, and in most cases die, from it. I often 'joke' that if I can make it past 35 I'll live to be 100. Realistically, that trend tends to be true on both sides of the tree.
I love living in Portland, and moving across the country has done wonders for my sanity and general well-being, but it is both emotionally and mentally stressful to be so far away from everyone right now. I want to be there to talk to the doctors because I know what questions to ask and what information to provide. I want to cook meals for my brother and his fiance, and take them both out for a little rest and relaxation. Mostly, I want to be the big sister.
That being said, it seems as though I have no choice but to come to Florida for Christmas this year. I don't know how long I'll be there or what I'll be able to accomplish, but just seeing my family and knowing they're okay will be nice. Plus, I like seeing the look on my mom's face when I hoist my 50-pound suitcase full of rice pasta into the car.
Please send good joo-joo Andy's way, if you are so inclined. Thank you.
