Every woman has some sort of ridiculous activity they like to engage in when they're alone. In fact, Sex and the City devoted an entire episode to this exact phenomenon and affectionately named it "Secret Single Behavior (SSB)." Well, I am no exception. In fact, I have many SSBs, but none please me more than fantasy online shopping. That's right, when I'm feeling funky or particularly independent I'll devote hours of my day to filling up online shopping carts at a variety of stores with no intention of ever buying. Don't judge me! Today I spent close to $600 imaginary dollars at Macy's, 6pm (thanks Lori!), REI, and Victoria's Secret. I know, I know... $600 seems a little excessive, but I'm worth it, right?
It's funny, in real life I have absolutely no fashion sense. I live in ratty, borderline 'Mom' jeans and plain colored tee shirts. Sometimes I'll throw in a button-up shirt just to shake things up a bit. I own one skirt, which I refuse to give up as it is the only item of clothing I own that isn't completely androgynous. Online, however, I own lots of dresses and skirts, flowy peasant blouses, camisoles, adorable sandals, and ultra-sexy tops. Indeed, my alter ego is uber-chicktastic to the max. Someday, I'll have the time, money, energy, and confidence to actually buy myself some of my fantasy items. Until then, I'll keep on keeping on with my SSB and you guys can submit my name to What Not to Wear. Yeah, that sounds good. I'm sure Stacy and Clinton would have a field day with me.
I do the same thing, somewhat! I don't actually add my items to the shopping cart, but I peruse the clothing stores and have tabs open of the items I want. Of course, I never buy them, but I love looking at them.
ReplyDeleteOne day we'll get you into a dress again. :)
PS, while I know your subject line is a Clash song, it can't help but think of Gisberg's poem on supermarkets. I'm a dork.
Also, aside from online shopping, my secret is watching bad reality TV. I'm talking Americas Next Top Model bad. Not all of them, of course, just that one, Clean House and How Do I Look. Samir LOOOOVES it. Heh.
Ha ha ha, you are a serious dork, and you know I share your sick love of America's Next Top Model.
ReplyDeletePS - You are awesome, and I owe you a phone call.