More so than anything else, my marriage has been the thing that has kept me constantly guessing about myself. There's something about being connected to someone for the rest of your life, and making that commitment to him and to yourself that forces you to adopt a perspective which necessitates adaptability in a way that you never thought yourself capable of. No fight will ever be so big that he and I won't work it out, because we've made a promise to each other to stay together and be happy with that decision. Love is not enough to keep a couple together, but it is the key ingredient to making that joined life totally awesome and undeniably worth it.
Marriage is a funny thing in that it forces you to be more introspective, and having a spouse is in some ways like having a mirror that reflects yourself in all of your best and worst ways so that you are made hyper aware of both your good qualities and those which you would rather turn a blind eye to. This, of course, can be interpreted as a blessing and a curse, although I must say I rather enjoy it. I will never know myself better than Christopher knows me, and that both horrifies me and makes me extremely grateful that I will have him in my life.
In case you were wondering how my blog got its title, this is it. Here's to forever.
Wow, you are really grown up! You sound so wise, and have put into words what every married couple should hear: that marriage is more than love. Your father and I have been through many difficult times over our 30 years, only to become stronger in our love, respect, and commitment to each other. I am so happy that you found such a great partner in Chris.
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes. Yes. I love this. I'm so excited to get married because of this. I know we'll fight at times, I know it'll be crazy at others, but I also know that we can keep going. I love what you wrote: "Love is not enough to keep a couple together, but it is the key ingredient to making that joined life totally awesome and undeniably worth it." I completely agree. Here's to an eternity of forevers. :)
ReplyDeleteI tell you what kiddo, you're absolutely right. I've always know I can be an arrogant bastard, but to see how those qualities makes someone else feel, someone who you never mean to make upset, it makes you stop and think about everything you do. Not in a paralyzed from fear sort of way, but more like you are with a small baby, you think about every motion you make, every step, every breath, so as to not wake/drop/or scare them. It's not something you can really get down on paper, but something you just know, and once you do, you can see it in others too :) Thanks for this, it was refreshing to read!
ReplyDeleteThank you for all of your comments! I write what I'm thinking, and it's fantastic to hear that others feel the same way. When it comes to marriage, it is always valuable and important to hear an honest perspective, including the things no one else is willing to say. It is not a Disney princess story or a romantic comedy script, but a very real, intense experience and a series of important learning opportunities. I love hearing what your feedback! Keep it up!
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